28 January 2014

Dear Diary,

photo 2-30

It's the last week of January already! I'm trying to figure out how that happened. One way I can tell that time is flying is that the photo above was taken after 5pm one night and there is still light behind those clouds. I know, not really a big deal, right? But when it looked like this at 3:30pm a few weeks ago, I wondered if I'd ever make it out of winter...

The first couple weeks of class were insane, the complete opposite of the way last term began. Where last fall began in a very relaxed manner, this time I was thrown into meetings, internship appointments and presentations without much time to prepare at all. Partly my fault for starting class the day after flying back from the States, but also a good indication of the way the rest of the term is going to go, I think. There's no lack of stuff to do, but a lot of it is finding rhythm in my schedule, figuring out what needs to be done, and then... doing it.

But the last few weeks have also been an exercise in serious stress management. All I can really say is that sometimes things happen, or you learn things that are a shock the system. Sometimes a few of these things happen all at once. I know I'm being bout as vague as vague gets, but the essence of my point lies in the fact that after all was said and done, I started to evaluate myself and my path differently. What sort of choices do I make? Why do I do what I do, live where I live, know who I know? What matters more: people or place? Family or career? Why do I always want to do everything all on my own? Why do I most want what I cannot have? Are my monumental student loans going to control the next ten years of my life? Why do I always rail against everything the moment I decide to do it? Do I want to be a participant or an observer?

No, I haven't been thinking a lot or anything... ;) After a couple meetings with professors and tutors, it's clear that it's time to start thinking about what happens next in the ol' career/life, and that's exactly what I'm doing. Job prospects in the cultural sector are as dim as ever, but you just never know what might spring up, and from where. As far as the rest of this academic year, what do I want to get out of this experience? How do I want to use it? Do I go home, or do I move for a job? The next seven months are going to flyyy. Maybe it's time I start buying lottery tickets. It's terrifying no matter how I spin it. Luckily, I've got several papers and an internship to distract me, and a dissertation in the summer that will function like a full-time job. They expect 600 hours of work on that baby, but I think I just did a complete 180 on my choice of topic...

Anyway, I think this post just became a diary entry?

Alright, back to work!

Kate xx

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